I tweet, therefore I am (an idiot)

I hate Twitter and I kinda secretly love it, both for the same reason I hate/love most social media. And most people. Not you guys , though. YOU PEOPLE I LOVE.


I hate/love Twitter and most social media because there is no IQ requirement to use it. And for SOME REASON, the dumbest, most entitled people seem to use it the most. They are WAY PROUD of the shit they have to say, and they want everyone, everywhere to read it. And of course, me being me, I look for the biggest hot messes ever because 1- It makes me feel better about the dumb shit I say on Twitter/Facebook/Everywhere and 2- I secretly enjoy being annoyed by people the same way I secretly like how it feels when I press a bruise.

I’m pretty sure this makes ┬áme some kind of social media masochist, except that I don’t get off from any of it. But maybe one day! ( fingers crossed)

There’s certain stuff I really don’t understand, and I’, truly hoping that someone will read this and enlighten me in the comments section. Because not ONLY do I need to witness a shit show, I need to dissect it and analyze it until I have found an acceptable explanation for how & why said shit show exists. This also explains my need to Google everything all the time.

What I NEED to know now:

1- WHY do people take the last name of a celeb and use it on Twitter/Facebook/Adult Friend Finder ( I’m KIDDING! I’ve never gone on that site intentionally)?

I’m pretty sure no one is fooled into thinking they’re married or related to said celebrity. So, what does this accomplish? Seriously.

2- The whole ” PLEASE FOLLOW ME! PLEASE FOLLOW ME! ” thing. Really? What the fuck do YOU do that’s SO interesting that some famous person wants to keep up with it in their Twitter feed? ENLIGHTEN ME, because I am sure I’ll miss it on the AP Newswire later.

3- Trolling.

There are very few people that can troll and it be funny vs rude, obnoxious, and stalkerish. I have yet to see it, of course, but I’m going to assume that it started out with someone trolling someone and it being effective and/or entertaining, and that’s why every asshole has tried to repeat it unsuccessfully. Kinda like the Rachel Haircut.

4- Putting the date that some celeb retweeted one of your tweets and/or that some celeb followed you. Which, incidentally instantly gives you thousands of followers. Which also incidentally makes me never want to have children. Because how are people this dumb?

5-Use Twitter to begin with?

No bs, I am really interested in why most people use it. Facebook, I can understand. Nowadays most people live hundreds or thousands of miles away from family and friends, so I see how at it’s core, Facebook connects people that can’t see each other all the time. But I don’t understand Twitter unless you have a brand or something specific you want to promote.

I’ll admit,the only reason I use it is because I have been whining about being a writer since for-fucking-ever, and in this day and age, you need to know how to build and engage an audience via social media if you want to be any kind of creative person for a profession. And even before I promised myself to try and really BE a writer, I have worked in an industry that depended on building a following and promoting a service.

But if I hadn’t taught group ex, or I wasn’t trying to be a writer and publish something one day, I wouldn’t be on Twitter. Because really, what’s the point? Maybe this is part of my disconnect with a large chunk of the population. I’m not even going to say it’s age-specific, because it isn’t. It’s a societal thing where people have this really inflated view of their own person and/or feel way more entitled to anything than they really are.

Which makes me also wonder, is that why social media took off the way it did or why it was created in the first place?(THAT was DEEP!!)

But really, I would LOVE any info to help me further understand any of these questions I have. Until then, I’m going to needlessly obsess about it and go look at random Twitter feeds and Instgram pic while I overdose on birth control.